Half His Age: A Book Review

Half His Age is one of the most provocative and disturbing books you'll ever read

This page is primarily used to discuss film and occasionally music - but I’ve made it a platform where I could write about whatever I would like to and I've had a goal to read at least twenty books this year - so lets start with a book I found to be absolutely captivating. Half His Age, written by Jennette McCurdy is about the story of a seventeen year old girl named Waldo who lives in a dysfunctional family situation. Her mom is always out, either working or out with some man, seeking validation. Waldo, in an attempt to finally feel heard - becomes infatuated with her creative writing teacher Mr. Korgi. The story chronicles Waldo as she navigates her own insecurities and growing pains of being a seventeen year old while being groomed in a toxic co-dependent relationship with her english teacher.

This book has already come out to immense controversy and divisive reviews, which is to be expected. Jennette McCurdy, who’s autobiography I’m Glad My Mom Died became a global phenomenon, did anything but play it safe with her first foray into fiction. That is to say- how much of this book actually is fiction? Jennette has been open about the book being inspired by her first relationship, when she was together with one of the writers of iCarly who was over thirty years old, while she was only eighteen. This makes some of the prose of the novel feel all the more pointed and raw. McCurdy is angry- she’s angry at the cards she’s been dealt and the people in her life that have taken parts of her own personal autonomy away from her. I believe her writing is a way to gain some power back in her life, to finally state her peace and I believe that to be profound.

What I have to warn the reader about Half His Age is that it is simply one of the most explicit books I’ve ever read. This is an eighteen plus read easily. McCurdy holds nothing back in this harrowing exploration of a toxic relationship. Some people have argued that the book borderlines on being pornographic at times, which I disagree with immensely. McCurdy recounts sexual experiences in the novel like someone would describe to you the way they were stuck in traffic on the way home from work. It’s cynical, it’s drab and it’s disgusting. Jennette avoids flowery language when she accounts the characters sexual experiences and is very careful about her verbage. She explains the odor, the sounds and the feeling in a way to gross out the reader. One could state the way she writes as being exploitative, especially since most of the novel Waldo is a minor. However, I believe this is being all accounted in a sense of rage. Waldo is screaming to be heard in a void that is manipulating her needs to be desired. This is a real cycle so many find themselves in - even outside the dynamic explained in this novel. While the detail is unruly, it just paints how all consuming the experience was for Waldo

If you couldn’t tell already, Half His Age won’t be for everyone, it won’t be for most people. This is an uncomfortable read. At times, the book reminded me of Greg Araki’s masterpiece Mysterious Skin, a film I have said several times is one of the best I’ve ever seen that I can recommend to no one in my life. What both this book and Mysterious Skin have in common are authors at the forefront who have compassion for the victims and accurate vitriol for the perpetrators. Waldo in the story is a bratty teenager, grappling with her own adolescent angst as we all do at around seventeen. She isn’t always likable and I spent large parts of the novel wanting to be present in the story and to tell her to stop. You can feel McCurdy doing the same in her writing. Since the perspective of the story is through the eyes of Waldo, we feel what she feels in every moment and it feels vulnerable. As Waldo finally starts to feel seen in the story, the reader does as well. This is why I think the book will be a hard read for a lot of people. They don’t want to acknowledge the ways in which this personal story can reflect back onto their own. But isn’t that the direct purpose of storytelling in general? Isn’t the first step to stop grooming to happen to directly express how deep rooted it is?

Half His Age is the most authentic representation of codependency and anxious attachment I’ve ever read. Waldo’s constant yearning and stress, wanting to appeal to Mr. Korgi- a balding forty year old loser is nothing short of devastating. It feels so palpable. The waiting for that next text. That pacing in the room, rehearsing speeches you will say to the person you’ve imagined in your head for the last few hours. McCurdy understands that aspect of the human condition so well. At times, I felt myself laughing- reminiscing on a time where I felt those very acute and disarming floods of emotion for someone I loved. That moment of brevity is then replaced with a deep rooted sadness and empathy for Waldo and to the same effect McCurdy herself. These first moments of figuring out you love someone so much it hurts is all predicated on a false narrative. It’s all predicated on some loser needing his own needs met. There’s a scene in the book, in a brief moment of clarity Mr. Korgi explains to Waldo that he’s taking something away from her. That he is hurting her and these feelings she has for him can never be replicated. He is tarnishing aspects of her own personal autonomy she can never get back. He understands this, he sees it for what it is and still pursues her to fulfill his own desire. What should be feelings of foundational firsts have turned into trauma.

Mr. Korgi is a man who should have gone to therapy years ago. A man lost in wanting to be something and amounting to nothing. He is an English teacher, but so obviously wanted to be an artist. He describes classic literature and foreign films to Waldo she doesn’t particularly care about. Early on, he pushes his own dreams onto Waldo. He explains that she is a talented writer and she needs to pursue her passions. Waldo isn’t passionate about writing she doesn’t have any aspirations for her life. She is simply just trying to survive and the book is a dissection of Mr. Korgi wanting to paint Waldo in his own muse. Not only as his partner but as the person he once aspired to be. It’s a horrific thing to see first hand - how these two people are so incredibly lost in their own skin, not having a clue how to navigate in the real world. Mr. Korgi decides to latch onto Waldo as his own personal pet project, he never sees her as a person but only as an idea.

Waldo imagines Mr. Korgi as someone he ends up not seeing. Once the rush of a secret affair becomes a norm, that feeling of adrenaline dries up. The rush is the drug, when the person is the only thing left after that rush is gone- there’s nothing to come back to but disappointment and regret.

The book ends abruptly, another thing that I can see frustrating readers. I however, found it to be a thoughtful ending to the story. It’s not the ending for Waldo, but, that story is still continuing to be told. McCurdy in the book states one thesis very clearly, people in life will disappoint you- but you cannot let the bad things that happen in your life become your personality trait. Coming of age starts as the exploration of who you are after the heartbreak and disappointment. The stories we tell back to ourselves will make us angry and spiteful, but they are foundational stories - for better or for worse.